Jealousy
by FlameWriter17
Summary: He was jealous, he couldn't deny it. But, he would continue being 'happy'.. Just for Gouenji's sake.
1. Chapter 1

**((Okay. U-Um.. I don't know why, but my 6th fic (which is this one. =D) will be GouFubu again.. OAO My 7th would probably be a death fic.. If not my 10th cause I don't really know how to kill people.. O_O Thank you for all your reviews****! But.. Gigi-san! =( Really? I thought that Tsurugi would cry cause he was thinking about both Tenma and Yuuichi, two people he really loves.. Never mind! =) E-Enjoy! =3))**

He knew. He knew it.. Yet.. He couldn't help but feel _jealous_. Knew what, you ask? He knew that _they_ were in a relationship, and he was supposed to be happy for them, but.. He _couldn't_. He couldn't do it. It was hard to let go of _him_, much less be _happy_ for them. He was already trying his best, throwing fake smiles, hanging out with them, tease them whenever they were acting lovey-dovey.. But every time he did one of those things, his heart would ache a little more than the previous times. He wasn't sure his heart could take anymore of this torture. Even sakka practice had become a torture chamber. Seeing them on the field was a pain, especially when they were all mushy. He pretended to be happy when his friends were there, but once he got home.. That was an entirely different story. He was pretty sure that most of his friends had seen through his disguise. He couldn't tell anyone about this problem, though. It was.. Kind of personal. If only his brother was here..

Sighing, Fubuki Shirou sat on the bench, watching his friends practice. He had escaped from sakka practice with the excuse of not feeling well.. But.. His friends kept shooting him either worried or puzzled glances.. And it made him uncomfortable. He buried his face in his hands to avoid seeing yet _another _hug occur between _them_. Them.. Gouenji.. And.. _Toramaru_. Fubuki had always known that Toramaru liked Gouenji.. But.. What he _didn't_ know was that Gouenji liked him back. Thus, he was shocked when the couple made their relationship official.

''Fubuki-kun? Mind if I sit here?''

Fubuki looked up upon hearing the all-too-familiar voice. It belonged to one of his good friends, Kiyama Hiroto. He nodded weakly, not having any strength to try and escape again. He was sick and tired of running away, and he wanted to tell Hiroto about everything.

''Fubuki-kun..? I realised that you've been avoiding Gouenji-kun and Toramaru-kun lately. A few weeks back.. You still would have smiled forcefully at them, but now..''

''.. As expected of you to realise, Hiroto-kun.''

Hiroto was shocked. Fubuki's voice was so dry and emotionless.. Almost as if he was sucked off all his energy.

''I'm just.. Exhausted. Exhausted from everything..''

''Fubuki-kun.. I'm sorry this had to happen.. Come with me, I want to bring you somewhere. How about we get ice-cream on the way?''

''Ice-cream? Really? Thank you, Hiroto-kun! Where are we going? Let's go there now!''

Hiroto chuckled. It was amusing that the word ice-cream could bring out a real smile on Fubuki's face. He narrowed his eyes as he saw Gouenji walking towards them.

''Fubuki..? Do you want to hang out today?''

Hiroto watched as Fubuki's smile faltered slightly. Worried, he reached out and gently squeezed Fubuki's hand. The ice striker/defender looked at Hiroto, surprised, but he still smiled, a _real _smile, reassuring Hiroto.

''I'm sorry, Gouenji-kun. But I already have a date with Hiroto-kun! We're gonna eat ice-cream!''

Hiroto chuckled when Fubuki said the word ''date''. He would probably call getting ice-cream a date, no matter who he went with.

''How about next time, Gouenji-kun? Alright? See you later then!''

Gouenji watched as Fubuki grabbed Hiroto's hand and dragged him away happily. The fire striker clutched his chest tightly. What was this.. Feeling..? Why.. Did his chest hurt when he saw Fubuki so happy? Shouldn't he be glad that Fubuki was smiling and laughing..? He sighed in frustration and walked off to find Toramaru.

''Gouenji. Can I talk to you for a minute?''

Widening his eyes a bit in surprise, Gouenji turned towards the source of the voice and found Kidou standing behind him, his cape flowing.

''Sure..''

Kidou nodded and beckoned Gouenji to follow him. The ace striker of Raimon followed the strategist, puzzled. Kidou usually said whatever was on his mind on the spot. Asking Gouenji to follow him.. It must be serious.

''Well then, Gouenji. I'm sure you know that I hate beating around the bush, so I'll go straight to the point.''

Gouenji gulped and nodded. He was prepared to do whatever Kidou wanted of him.

''Tell me honestly, Gouenji. Do you.. Feel anything.. Special.. For Fubuki?''

... If he had one, Gouenji would have spitted out his drink. What kind of question was that? Kidou wasn't the type to ask these kind of questions.. Though, recently, Gouenji felt that Fubuki should not hang out with anyone but _him_, and he was unusually happy whenever Fubuki was smiling or laughing because of him, even if he was sad before that. He _also_ felt really depressed these few days, cause Fubuki had been ignoring him, even if Fubuki didn't, his smiles were fake. Plus the fact that Gouenji had the urge to punch Hiroto in the face when **his** Fubuki went on a ''date'' with Hiroto, the ice lover had even smiled a _real_ smile at that.. Red-haired.. Green ice-cream loving.. Guy..

''Gouenji? Why are you balling your fists up like you want to murder somebody right now?''

''Ah.. It's nothing, Kidou. Anyway, answering your question.. Truthfully, I don't know. I feel really happy when Fubuki smiles, a real smile, and when he's sad, I feel.. Depressed? I also think that he can't hang out with anyone else but me, and today when he went out with Hiroto I felt like punching that ex-alien in the face.. But. But I still love Toramaru, so I can't possibly be in love with Fubuki.''

Kidou stared at Gouenji with an ''are you an idiot'' face. He facepalmed and was about to open his mouth when Toramaru ran over to them, apparently wanting to spend time with his boyfriend.

''Well, bye, Kidou. Talk to you later.''

Kidou blinked as Gouenji walked away with Toramaru. He stood there, pondering about what Gouenji said for a moment, before making a decision. He needed to call Hiroto if he was going to make the plan work. He watched Gouenji and Toramaru fade into the distance before muttering something.

''You really are an idiot, Gouenji. Maybe Endou rubbed off you.. Cause.. You're obviously in love. With Fubuki..''

**((Okay.. Done with chapter one.. O_O I.. Um.. Think I made Kidou a little OOC.. O-O Anyway I'm soooooooooooooo sorry Hiroto! T-T I don't hate you or anything! I swear! I just needed Gouenji to be jealous.. T_T I'm so sorry! I'll definetly put you with Midorikawa later in the fic.. Promise. =3 Cheesy ending, yet once again! XD))**


	2. Chapter 2

[ Hey.. So, um, I've been gone for really long and I know you guys have been waiting for this chapter since forever, so I finally got myself to doing it and I finished it today, gonna post it immediately cause I don't wanna prolong the wait any longer. I will update whenever I can, and I hope you guys can understand.. um. ;; I'm probably gonna get busy again (I'm always busy and that's not really fair but :I) so I won't be able to write much but I'll do my best and I hope that can satisfy you.

Also, I think chuckling and laughing has a difference, so yeah.. ;;; Bear in mind? ;;

I'll see you more at the end of the chapter. ]

* * *

><p>Footsteps moving silently across the pavement, small click-clacking sounds from boots meeting ground, he trudged on, quiet the entire length of their journey with the exception of short answers. It was snowing, and the snow was making their surroundings attack them with a ferocity of coldness, but he didn't mind, didn't care. Couldn't mind and couldn't care either. In actual fact, it was helping him feel a little better. The thoughts that were whirling in his mind was making him dizzy, but he couldn't push them away. He was helpless as thoughts of his crush smashed into him straight on. He didn't want them, he didn't, it was making him sick to the stomach and he didn't want them, but they were there and he couldn't do anything to make them go away. To leave his mind and never come back. He was entirely vulnerable to them and it disgusted him to an extent. What had the platinum blonde want to talk about? Was it something important? Or something entirely irrelevant? Though the boy didn't state that he had wanted to talk about something, it was obvious in those brown orbs of his. The term he had used, 'hang out', surely it had meant that he wanted to talk, right? Wondering all these questions but with no actual answers, the ice-loving person lowered his head, a headache taking over his senses.<p>

"- not actually a fantastic plan-"

Reaching up to clutch at his head slightly, he breathed in sharply, eyes closing as he let their joined hands lead him to wherever they were going - Allowed the other to gently maneuver him towards whichever direction they were heading in. Hiroto was, apparently, on the phone with someone (If Fubuki's memory served him correctly, it sounded like he was talking to Kidou -) and was barely paying any attention to him, which was good, cause he certainly did not want the redhead to notice how in pain he was with his thoughts.

"- Are you serious? But-"

He felt Hiroto come to a stop, and at that, Fubuki made his feet press into the ground as well, his eyes fluttering open to the world in confusion, and he peeked at his companion, surprise tingling his senses when he saw his friend staring at him with a look of worry, before he continued on with whatever conversation he was having with the person on the other end of the line.

"- Fine. But only for him."

Vaguely, the question of 'For who?' surfaced in his mind, but the ice user figured it had nothing to do with him, anyway, so he beamed a smile and tried to appear as normal as he could. He was out with Hiroto, someone who could make him feel himself, and he shouldn't think about anything that could destroy the mood, no, no, no. _Get him out of your mind, Fubuki, _resonated in his brain, and he nodded firmly, once, in resolution.

"Fubuki-kun?"

Blinking at the voice, he almost laughed - He wasn't paying any attention to the person he was out with, again. He really had to stop doing that.

"You haven't told me what flavor you wanted, is all I was going to say, you know. So don't have that look on your face."

This time, he actually laughed. Or well, chuckled was more like it. Hiroto seemed to be able to read his mind for some reason, not that Fubuki disliked it or anything, it was actually nice to not hide for once. Maybe that was why the other was fun to hang out with - They didn't have any need to lie to each other. Honestly, Fubuki was glad Hiroto was a friend of his.

"You can choose for me, Hiroto-kun. I'm bad at choosing when it comes to ice-cream, but I'm sure you knew that already."

Offering a wink to the other, he chuckled once more, watching Hiroto wave him off towards a seat with 'I'm so done with you, Fubuki-kun' amusement, before he complied, moving to seat himself down with - for once, in oh so many months - lightheartedness.

Hiroto was nice, honest-to-god nice, but he couldn't heal the wounds Fubuki had inside of him. A light sigh left his lips. That didn't mean he couldn't enjoy himself though - With Hiroto, that was easy. Everything was easy. Nothing was hard about being with Hiroto, really.

"Fubuki."

Startling, he blinked up at the new voice - familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time - and almost choked on nothing, his grey hues going wide with surprise as he backtracked, covering his eyes with his hands before parting them, and what greeted him made him blink again, his dumbfounded expression surely not going unnoticed.

"Dweeb, is seeing me that shocking to the bone?"

That, plus the expression on the other's face startled a laugh out of him, surprised and slightly loud and rough from not having laughed for so long, and he brought a hand to his mouth, attempting to muffle his laughter though he failed miserably. He eyed the person before him, resorting to biting his hand when he caught sight of the embarrassed tint of red, and the scowl that was present, and how the fingers were twitching - He breathed in deeply for a few moments, a smile long formed on his lips as he took the time to calm himself down before responding. Honestly, what was with people making him smile today? He greatly appreciated it, considered himself lucky for having friends like these.

"No, but you approaching me is weird at best, Fudou-kun."

He allowed his lips to tug up more when he saw the other slump his shoulders and rub at his face like he had no idea how to deal with Fubuki, and another laugh threatened to spill from his lips, though he swallowed that one down when he noted that his teammate was about to speak again.

"You here alone?"

A light smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he shook his head just the slightest bit, and at the questioning look of the other's, he tilted his head towards the queue for ice cream silently, watching as Fudou's sharp eyes spotted the red that stood out.

"With Hiroto? Fubuki, you could do better than that."

The albino was more than ready to protest, hearing those words, but on seeing the slight smirk gracing his companion's features, and the tiny hint of teasing in the other's voice, he couldn't help but laugh again, softly this time, out of relief and understanding and newly found happiness that was bubbling within him, dizzying him with warmth and glee - He _knows _he hasn't felt like this in a long time.

He looks at Fudou, grey hues the color of something dull - a color people glances at and decides it's not worth looking at, a color that is not worth time, or effort, not worth the patience one needed to have in order to blend the right shade of grey, the type that would make breaths catch in throats, would make people stop and stare and _appreciate. _

Fubuki, though, felt something catch on the way up his windpipe, and he felt something stir in his chest, a very distant, familiar yet unfamiliar feeling that was barely there, but it was _there _and he thinks he knows what it is, but he doesn't want to find out, either, so he swallows down the lump formed that was blocking his respiratory system from working and averts his eyes, ignoring the subtle fluttering feeling in his chest.

He also knows, however, that he feels lighter - knows that the light in his eyes has returned, if only a little. And he cannot even begin to comprehend how a few sentences exchanged with one of the teammates he was not so comfortable with could make him feel this way, but that doesn't matter. Not now. Maybe it wouldn't ever.

_You should have talked to him before, too, _is the first thought that surfaced in his mind, and he frowned slightly, pushing down the small stinging of regret that was lurking somewhere in his heart as he breathed out a sigh. _Though there's no point mulling over it now._

"- Fubuki? Dweeb, are you spacing out on me?"

Snapped out of his thoughts, now, the grey-haired shook his head, albeit slowly, in apology - a sheepish smile curling his lips upward. Just the corners lifted, yet he could see Fudou's eyes brighten just the slightest bit at that, even though his usual pokerface was on.

"Good. Anyway, it's time for me to leave. The alien's coming back."

Watching as his teammate rolled his eyes at the mention of Hiroto, Fubuki let his smile turn into one of silent amusement, nodding his acknowledgement once before pausing, hesitating, unsure of how to form the words - the question he oh so wanted to ask the other. _Are we friends? _

Quiet reigned over them for a moment, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hiroto collecting some napkins -

"Say, dweeb - If.."

The hint of uncertainty that was present in his teammate's tone caught his attention immediately, and as he focused his vision on the other again, gaze locking with Fudou's serious one, his lips parted just the slightest bit in puzzlement - It wasn't every day that he saw _Fudou _of all people being serious, after all.

"What is it, Fudou-kun?"

Gently probing, he let a tiny smile form on his lips, though it dropped - not out of sadness, or anger, no - immediately when he saw his companion go uncharacteristically unwilling to speak for a second or two, before he felt his hand lifting easily, a warmth going over it that was unexpected - _Fudou-kun feels warm. _

_Fudou-kun.. feels warm?_

_Fudou-kun!?_

Cringing when he heard the sharp sound of chair legs scraping against the ground, he refocused his vision to their now barely touching hands, the other's fingers resting atop his open palm, and he sucked in a breath, an anxious, slightly afraid feeling settling deep within him. He looked up at the other slowly, not quite wanting to meet the eyes of the strategist, though when he actually did, he felt a strange sense of serenity and awe slow his gradually quickened breathing.

He watched as Fudou held gazes with him for but only a second more, before his eyes slid down to their linked hands, and Fubuki did his best to ignore the sinking disappointment in his chest, mentally chiding himself that he did not know what he was feeling.

The weird, unusual silence was almost overwhelming, and he could have sworn that he could hear the other breathe, his ears picking up the particularly deep breath that signaled finality, and he knew his companion was about to speak -

But no matter how much he steeled himself from whatever Fudou wanted to tell him that was so serious, it didn't help the confusion that bubbled to the surface, or the silly fluttering that seemed to only worsen further, once he had heard those words - He vaguely felt the warmth leave his hands, and he could faintly hear the sound of footsteps only getting softer, and softer - until it disappeared altogether.

_"One day, I hope you'll let me pick up the pieces." _

* * *

><p>[ leaVE ME ALONE I JUST REALLY LIKE 'LET ME PICK UP THE PIECES' OK<p>

omf ok there is always going to be FudoFubu I DONT KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED -

but hopefully (most probably) it's gonna be GouFubu at the end so don't fret my lovelies uwu

ok ok i'll do my best to upload the next chapter and -

see you around? ;w; ]


End file.
